Operation Polyjuice
by Marauder Madness
Summary: What do you get when you cross Marauders with Polyjuice Potion and strands of teachers hair? Caos. read to find out. OneShot. please RR.


**Disclaimer: **I own nothing of the world of Harry Potter, I a merly using the wonderfull Marauders as character,the brilliantJK Rowling owns everthing.

**Dedication: **I dedicate this story to my own fello Maraudering friends and of course to everyone who reds my story, (forgive me if you get a bit scared, its my first time).

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Operation Polyjuice

"Marauders, I'm bored," said James to his best four friends, "I am so bored that I have resorted to doing _Divination _homework!" he said inventing another horrific death possibility for himself, using the unfortunate conjunction of Pluto and Neptune, bringing the very likely event of himself being eaten alive by carnivorous rabbits.

"Tell me about it Prongs!" said Sirius coming out of a glassy eyed trance "What the hell are we going to do?"

The four Marauders were lost. Nothing to do, nothing at all, it was raining so there was no Quidditch, everyone was home for the holidays and now all the Marauders had were themselves.

"We could…um…curse Snivellus!" said Peter, looking around hopefully.

"He's gone home for the break" said Remus marking his page in the book he was reading "in fact I think we are the only ones left in the school, apart from the teachers of course."

The four friends sat back again, gloom taking over.

"What about…sneaking into Hogsmeade and exploring?" asked Sirius hopefully "We could find some new places!"

Remus immediately answered.

"No and defiantly not," he stated shutting the book and piercing Sirius with a calm but forceful glare, "Haven't you noticed the time? Its eight o'clock at night, the shops won't be open." He finished by clipping Sirius across the back of the head.

"Ow Moony, I can dream can't I?" Sirius said picking up his quill.

"Yes you can _dream _but sometimes I think your _dreams _are a bit wild, honestly Sirius, you wake us up half way during the night with your strange dreams." Remus stated, chuckling at the revolted look on Sirius' face, "Thought you ought to know the truth, Padfoot."

"Yes thankyou for the interesting information, Moony" Sirius laughed, returning back to his divination homework and trying to decide wether he would die by being force fed arsenic, because the angle Earth was making to one of Jupiter's moons Ganymede, or because of the revolution stage Venus was in which predicted his death by a crazy niffler on a sugar high.

"We could…nick them!" said James preparing to go get the Invisibility Cloak and Marauders Map, "Quick, before its McGonagall's shift for Hallway Patrol," James shouted leaping off his seat.

"James! Wait! No!" protested Remus scrambling to his feet, but James had already disappeared up the seventh year boys dorms, "Oh I give up!" he stated plonking back down and waiting for James to return.

Peter and Sirius high-fived, "Lighten up Moony, this'll be fun," Peter said tying up his boots.

"Yeah, we will be armed and ready when we go out tonight," Sirius said as he elbowed Peter out of the way to grab his scarf, "complete Marauder Sneak-About Kit, The Cloak, Marauders Map and a wicked plan to unravel!"

Remus looked at them, forlorn, "Oh I suppose your right, just this once though," he admitted pushing in front of Peter to get his gloves.

"Hey, I do exist you know!" said Peter gruffly finally getting the chance to tie his boots.

"Sorry Pete" they both answered.

"I've got the Cloak," said James bounding down the stairs "Sorry it took so long, I never knew that you hid it in your washing pile, Padfoot,"

Remus scrunched up his nose in disgust, "Yeah Prongs, only you would venture in there."

"Sorry, I tried to cover half of the pile with the Cloak," Sirius said, smirking "it was getting so big that I had no where else to hide it."

"Why don't you just wash the cloths, Padfoot?" asked Peter, fiddling with his drawstring for his jacket hood.

"Pah! You have no idea what is living in that pile Wormtail, I'm sure there is a colony of ants in there somewhere," Sirius replied pulling his gloves on and drawing his own jacket tight, "C'mon, let's go."

James threw the Cloak over the quartet and gave the map to Remus; _I solemnly swear that I am up to no good;_ the werewolf whispered tapping it with his wand. At once the ink lines appeared, spider webbing the paths of Hogwarts and the various teachers prowling the corridors.

"Filch is on the second floor, Mrs Norris on the fourth and McGonagall is in her office, but she'll be taking over Filch in five minutes," Peter informed the group.

"How do we know when she'll take over?" asked James adjusting the Cloak.

"I 'borrowed' this list of shift times from Filches office in detention the other day," said Peter smiling proudly.

"That's very helpful Wormtail," Remus complemented "Now, are we going or not?"

The Marauders made their way from the Fat Lady and scurried along the corridors, making their way to the one eyed witch.

"Filch alert!" whispered Peter in urgency "we're going to smack into him around the next corner!"

"Shoot…everyone stay still!" ordered Sirius, "And don't breath for a bit, okay!"

The friends held their breaths as the caretaker emerged around the bend carrying a lantern, a mere inch away from walking strait into Remus, who had to suck his breath in so that the lantern wouldn't swing into his stomach.

They heard him carry on around the corner.

"Phew, I though we had snuffed it then," breathed Sirius "Next time, Peter, tell us with a little more extra notice."

They made their way to the one eyed witch where James tapped its hump with his wand muttering _Dissendium, _opening the door way, where each slipped inside.

They walked along the tunnel where various accidents took place, Sirius cracked his skull on the roof, causing him to yowl in pain causing James to become preoccupied and smash hisown head on the protruding piece of limestone.

"Mind the rock, Prongs" Sirius had said afterwards through watery eyes.

Through the howls of pain they finally reached the end where they dusted off and made their way to the back of the counter of Honeydukes. Eyeing the sweets they carefully made their way to the front.

"Let's grab some, please?" pleaded Peter, eyes wide, "Pretty please?"

"They will be protected by more than bags, spells and enchantments probably," said Remus eyeing the lollies carefully, "we better not risk it."

"Okay," said Peter his face fallen.

The friends made their way out side into the crisp moonlight, the snow crunching beneath them. They made their way down the deserted street under the Cloak.

Suddenly James let out a yelp of surprise as he slipped on something, landing on his backside.

Sirius, quite predicably burst into laughter.

"Nice style Prongs, not as good as mine but nice," said Sirius in stitches, "What did you slip over?"

"A bottle of some sort," huffed James picking himself up and taking the blue-green glass bottle, "There is some sort of liquid in here."

Remus gestured over, "Let me see," he said taking it and pouring a drop out, he gasped "Its Polyjuice Potion!"

Expecting a dramatic response he turned to his friends, Peter had his mouth open in a glazed sort of look, Sirius shrugged his shoulders while James looked utterly confused.

"What's Polyjuice Potion?" Sirius asked.

Remus stared then began to talk.

"A potion where you can change into the exact physical appearance of someone else," Remus explained rolling his eyes, "It's considered Dark Magic by most people".

"Thank you Professor Lupin," said James smiling at him "You would make a great teacher you know."

"Wait a minute," Peter interrupted "We can look exactly the same as anyone?"

"Yes" Remus answered still trying to comprehend his friends' vagueness.

"Wicked!" shouted Sirius "let's go back I wonna try it!"

Everyone sighed, but agreed to go back to the castle with Sirius, the bottle being carefully held during the walk through the tunned which was surprisingly devoid of yelps of pain this time.

Walking up to the common room they remarkably didn't crossed any teacher's paths and made it back in one piece.

"So" said Peter flopping down on the chair next to the other Marauders, "What are we going to do?"

The three other friends thought for a moment looking intently at the innocent appearing bottle on the table.

"We could…put the potion into Dumbledore's goblet during a feast so he turns into Snivellus" suggested James.

"Nah. Who would want a Headmaster as ugly as Snivellus" replied Sirius shuffling to get a better view of the blue-green bottle.

"What about…turning into…a Slytherin and sneaking into their common room for one night" asked Peter.

The others stared in astonishment at him, "A _Slytherin! _Eww" protested Sirius pretending to vomit all over the red carpet.

"Then what will we do?" asked James heaving a sigh "C'mon Moony, think something up".

"Don't look at me!" Remus huffed indignantly, "_I'm _not the one that had the idea to bring the bottle back!"

"Well we couldn't just waste such a valuable thing like this potion" argued Sirius, flicking a dead fly off the top of the table.

The minutes ticked passed as the night drew on, the clouds lighted up by the morning sun until Peter broke the silence.

"We…could…transform into teachers and make them look stupid!" he said suddenly springing to his feet, "We could turn into Dumbledore, McGonagall, Sprout and Flitwick!"

The others looked at him strangely, then…

"Hey that's not a bad idea!" shouted Sirius clapping Peter on the back.

"Yeah and we could dance around like lunatics!" said Remus scrambling in his chair with excitement.

"Then no one would know it was us!" shouted James even more excited than Remus and Sirius "It would be the perfect crime! The teachers would have to take points from themselves!"

At this the Marauders fell back in hysterics leaning on each other for support.

"We must devise a plan!" shouted Sirius tearing off a bit of parchment and grabbing a quill with some ink.

_Operation Polyjuice _

_Aims:_

_humiliate the teachers_

_Achieve ultimate Marauder victory_

_humiliate the teachers_

"Why do we have 'humiliate the teachers' twice" asked Remus who was reading over Sirius' shoulder.

"Because they deserved to be humiliated as much as we can get them to be humiliated," concluded Sirius dipping his quill in ink again.

_Method:_

_complete Polyjuice potion_

_drink potion_

_humiliate teachers_

"That's our plan?" asked Peter in disbelief "is that all we have to do?"

"Yes" finished James proudly "the Marauders are going to be famous!"

The Marauders went through the holidays devising and finishing the potion, adding strands of Dumbledore's, McGonagall's, Sprouts and Flitwick's hair. The potion looked revolting, like a gooey mud slush bubbling away.

The holidays finished while the Marauders waited for the right moment to conduct 'Operation Polyjuice', luckily for them the moment came not to far into the school term.

"Okay guys the code word is CAT" said Remus "When I say CAT it means that all the teachers we will be turning into are out of the room and we are safe to go transform, then we do our stuff"

"Why does it have to be CAT?" asked Peter.

"Because it is UN suspicious" explained Remus "we couldn't shout HEY MARAUDERS IT'S TIME TO HUMILIATE THE TEACHERS!"

"Whatever, let's just do it" said Peter excitedly fidgeting around.

Remus walked into the Great Hall, breakfast was well under way and every teacher that they were turning into except for Dumbledore was not there. Perfect.

He sat down and got into a conversation with Lily, he could almost see James getting jealous at this moment, with Remus talking to his girl friend.

Dumbledore left giving Remus his chance "and then this CAT walked in the driveway…"

The four Marauders were in the deserted corridor, clinked glasses and downed the disgusting potion in one gulp.

"Argh…foul" James said as his face contorted into Sprouts, while this was happening Sirius transformed into Dumbledore, Remus into McGonagall and Peter into Flitwick. They looked a strange bunch.

"This is so…weird" said Peter in a high pitched voice.

"I know I never knew McGonagall had a back problem" Remus said rubbing the small of his back.

"Ha! You think that's bad! Dumbledore has a knee problem!" said Sirius clutching what looked like Dumbledore knee.

"We have to stop. Everybody knows their parts? Good" said Remus "Let's go humiliate some teachers!"

The four teachers/marauders streamed into the Great Hall surprising everybody in there especially the other teachers watching. Sirius started first, running forward and doing a bad impression of a rap singer.

"Yo there peoples. I am Disco Dumbledore and I am here to help y'all with my Disco-in', I hope y'all have fun and not pay attention to dat Divination stuff," he said flailing his arms around, the rest of hall in complete silence, "Now here is y'all Movin' McGonagall!"

The hall continued to stare, this was just too weird.

"Hello, I am Movin' McGonagall and I like to groo-oove and moo-oove," Remus said doing the moon walk, "Now, I don't really like dat Slytherin bunch, always getting on my nerves, really they don't have a clue 'bout anything! Anyway here is sexy Sprout!"

Mouths were close to reaching China because they had dropped so far to the ground; honestly none of the people in the room had seen a Disco Dumbledore or a Movin' McGonagall let alone a sexy Sprout.

James ran forward, slipping slightly but regaining his posture and continued on with his rap.

"Okay, now I like the plant things on the tree's, green is ma favourite colour and really there is nothing in this world that I like more than cuttin' leaves off treez and wishing they were slimy Slytherins, not that I'm prejudice or anythin'! I now bring you Flamin' Flitwick!"

Things where getting crazy now…

Peter started a futile attempt at break dancing but ended up just rapping his lines "Well I love dat charm corridor 'cause it's the way I make me money and y'all are payin' way to much than you should, the Hogwarts funds are way to high!"

Now people where starting to freak and the expressions on the teachers faces were priceless.

Sirius/Dumbledore walked over to a certain greasy haired boy at the Slytherin table, snatching a pair of sunglasses off a random first year he placed them on himself and began a very Sirius-like rap song.

"Yo, hi there, what's up wit' you, with dat greasy hair, you could do with some shampoo!" Sirius/Dumbledore attempted, the glasses slipping off his nose.

Snape scowled.

The Marauders/teachers were going crazy, the other teachers were looking gob smacked and the students were starting to edge away from the dancing four, perhaps a little afraid that the Professors had finally lost their sanity.

"So y'all down here at school, and we give out the homework, due Monday, due Tuesday and due Wednesday, so there, in your face, the students will be the ones to win the race!" rapped the Marauders together, Sirius doing an emu impression while James attempted to beat box.

Then disaster struck.

The teachers walked in to see themselves act like lunatics in front of the whole entire school.

"What is the meaning of this?" asked McGonagall looking at herself halfway through the chicken dance.

"Yes it is rather curious," said Dumbledore observing another Dumbledore impersonating an emu.

"What is going on?" squeaked Flitwick seeing Peter/Flitwick attempt to spin on his head.

"Bye golly-gosh!" Sprout stated looking at herself trying to do a handstand and failing miserably.

The Marauders/teachers froze in their very try-hard rapper moves.

Then disaster struck a second time.

They started to change back. They shrunk (or in Peter's case grew) back to their normal state of self looking quite forlorn that it didn't turn out the way they liked it.

The students and teachers stared even more at the four seventeen year old boys. To astounded, no one said anything for a bit.

"Um, hi Professors" said James as a stab in the dark "We were, um, testing a…a new Zonko's product…" he trailed away looking to his Marauders for help.

"Yeah…it requires…um…requirements…of special…circumstances…" Sirius attempted fidgeting at his uniform.

"We…were helping Mr Zonko with his project…" tried Peter giving a fleeting glace at all of them.

"Yeah…um…totally" Remus tried a cover up but failed preposterously.

The teachers pierced them with stern looks, though the four friends could have sworn they saw Dumbledore's mouth twitch upwards for a split second.

"Mr Black, Mr Potter, Mr Lupin and Mr Pettigrew please accompany me to my office," said McGonagall, "I have something to discuss with you…"

"It…it doesn't have anything to do with…with detentions does it, Professor?" asked James timidly.

"Oh no, nothing like that Mr Potter! What gave you that idea?" McGonagall said as they walked along the corridor.

Sirius and James silently high-fived each other, hardly believing their luck as the four Marauders and one teacher turned a corner.

"But it has everything to do with _double_ detentions…" stated McGonagall pushing the door to her office open and gesturing them to sit down.

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**A/N: **please RR, and if you like Snape, i appologise, this was just a random story, thanks for readin, kind regards - Marauder Madness 


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